The Christmas Nativity LoK STYLE!
by Popeland
Summary: BWHAHAH!!! Its makes no sense! I know its early for Christmas things but I put it up anyway!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Lok. I don't own the christmass nativity either........is there anything I do own?  
  
  
  
The Christmas nativity LoK Style!!  
  
  
  
Starring  
  
Kain as Joseph  
Umah as Mary  
Moebius as herod  
Vorador,Janos and Raziel as the 3 wise men  
Turel,Dumah,Rahab,Zephon and Melchiah as the shepherds  
And Many More!  
  
  
  
  
(Popeland walks on stage)  
  
Me VO: Along time ago in a galaxy far far away . The empire attempted to destroy the rebel headquarters on the ice moon of......opps wrong story...... (looks around for his script) ammm..... in a small town called Bethlehem was where Mary and Joseph lived and ......er...... they had this conversation  
  
(Popeland runs off stage and voices are heard)  
  
Me: SWITCH MY SCRIPT WILL YOU!!!  
  
(Stage goes black and Screams are heard)  
  
(Stage lights up and reveals Umah sitting in a kitchen and Kain reading the newspaper )  
  
Umah: Joseph  
  
Kain: Yes?  
  
Umah: I'm pregnant...  
  
Kain: Ah right (goes back to the reading the newspaper)  
  
Umah: with the child of god  
  
Kain: WHAT?!!! YOU TWO TIMING SLU.........I mean....this comes at a bad time for soon we must travel to Jerusalem  
  
Umah: Oh I'll just put it off then!!!  
  
Kain: would you?  
  
(Umah hits him in the side of the head)  
  
Kain: Oww! Right tonight we must leave  
  
Umah: why?  
Kain: because I have a feeling we're being watched.........  
  
Umah: by who?  
  
(Kain points at the audience)  
  
Umah: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!   
  
Umah runs off stage  
  
Kain: oh dear god......  
  
(Stage fades to black)  
  
  
(Stage lights up again and beach scenary is on stage)  
  
(Popeland walks back on stage)  
Me: meanwhile in a harsh desert *stops to kick a beach ball that was rolling towards him* the 3 wise men where contemplating questions like "what could this mysterious star mean" and " if you could be any animal what would you be?  
  
(3 wise men walk on)  
  
(Raziel is wearing a sheet and a gold medalion, janos is wearing a cape and a hat with mirrors in it and vorador is dressed for some reason as a sailor)  
  
  
  
Raziel: yes the star will lead us to our new king   
  
Janos: right yeah  
  
Raziel: I'm serious!  
  
Vorador: like the time when there was that eclipse and you said we were all going to die and we spent all night in a hole in the ground  
  
Raziel: hey that was one time!  
  
Janos: or the time when there was that really dark cloud and you made us build an ark so the righteous could be saved  
  
Raziel: OK twice  
  
Vorador: or when...  
  
Raziel: SHUTUP!!! There is a new king and we must bring gifts of....  
  
(Stage goes dark)  
  
Janos: *stage flashes * Gold!  
  
Vorador: *stage flashes *Frankincense!  
  
Raziel: *stage flashes *ROCK!!!  
  
Vorador: ...rock?  
  
Raziel: Yeah. ROCK!!!!  
  
Janos: why are you giving a rock to a small child!  
  
Raziel: Its not a rock its ROCK!!!  
  
Janos: oh right........  
  
Raziel: now we must cross the harsh desert! Vorador put that beach ball back!!!  
  
  
And so they set off in the direction of there new king  
  
  
(Meanwhile in a miscellaneous field)  
  
Sheep: Baa  
  
Dumah: Baa?  
  
Sheep: Baa!  
  
Rahab: Stop that! You've been doing it for an hour!  
  
Turel: AHHHHH! WHATS THAT!!!  
  
(Nuraptor walks on stage and lights a flare)  
  
Melchiah: it must be the light of god!  
  
(Ariel appears)  
  
Ariel: do not be afraid for I am the angel of god  
  
Zephon: AHHHHHH RUN AWAY!!!  
  
Ariel: I SAID DON'T BE AFRAID!!! NOW SHUTUP!!  
  
(All the lieutenants stand very still)  
  
Ariel: Better. Anyway you must go north and find your new king and then...OH MY GOD!!!  
  
(Nuraptor sets himself on fire)  
  
Nuraptor: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HELP!!  
  
Ariel: Roll!!!  
  
(Nuraptor rolls on the ground)  
  
Nuraptor: ITS NOT HELPING!!!  
  
(Kain runs on with a bucket of water and throws it on nuraptor)  
  
Nuraptor: ARGGHHHHHH!!!  
  
(Flames grow more intense)  
  
Ariel: KAIN!!! THAT WAS PETROL!!!  
  
Kain: Really? Oh silly me.  
  
(Popeland runs on with a fire extinguisher and uses it)  
  
(Flames go out)  
  
Nuraptor: Ahhhh! I'm in pain!  
  
Me: Someone take him to the burn ward  
  
(Several men walk on stage and drag nuraptor away)  
  
Ariel: Honey! I'm coming!  
  
(Ariel runs off stage)  
  
Me: (looking at the audience) I don't think they noticed......  
  
Curtains fall  
  
  
  
So what do you think? should I stop because its terrible or blasphemous? Hmmmmmmm  
Read & Review PLEASE!!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Popeland: Yes I know Halloween hasn't even passed yet but If the next chapter takes as long as this one did....... So enjoy chapter 2!!  
  
(The stage curtains are closed as the cast members try and recover after the first scene. To pass the time hymns are being played to the audience)  
  
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!  
Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh!  
  
Me: Dammit Faustus!!! I said hymns!!  
  
Faustus: that isn't a hymn?  
  
Me: No that's a Christmas song!  
  
Faustus: Oh right.... Heh heh.... sorry about that  
  
Me: *sigh* Alright people! Back to work the audience is getting restless!!  
  
Kain: Audience? Who's in the audience?  
  
Me: the regulars. Peasants, nobles....  
  
Kain: ah right  
  
Me: *Mutters* few dozen Sarafan..... Anyway, Places people!!!!  
  
(The curtain opens but the stage is dark)  
  
Mysterious voice 1: damn! I can't see where I'm going  
  
Mysterious voice 2: ahhh!! Get off my foot  
  
Mysterious voice 3: somebody's touching my hair!!  
  
Mysterious voice 4: are we there yet?  
  
All voices except 4: No!!!!  
  
(The lights come on reveal the shepherds/lieutenants)  
  
Zephon: this trek to Jerusalem is a long and dangerous trip  
  
Turel: yeah lucky this is only a play  
  
Rahab: *elbows Turel* but we near our target, my friend  
  
Turel: Owww! Why did you hit me! Is it because no one supposed to know it's a play? That's it isn't it!  
  
(Dumah snaps his fingers and several large men dressed in black drag Turel off stage)  
  
Turel: NOOOOO!!!!! You'll never silence me!!! The people have a right to know!!! This is all being planned.... Badly!!  
  
Melchiah: anyway, Look to the heavens my friends. A heavenly choir!....... I said Heavenly choir!   
  
(A rope falls in the center of the stage and Malek slides down it)  
  
Malek: I am the Angel of light! Your journey will be a long and treacherous one who must be prepared for dangers beyond belief. But you must find the lady of the lake and reclaim excalibur for king Arthur!  
  
Popeland's voice: Wrong lines!! Stop!!  
  
Malek: Er......carry on  
  
(Malek tries to climb back up the rope but slips and falls on to the stage. Several men in black walk on stage and drag him off)  
  
Rahab:...... well you heard the angel come on!  
  
(The lieutenants shuffle offstage quickly and the stage fades to black)  
  
(The stage lights up to reveal the harsh desert/beach scenery once more. The wise men walk on stage)  
  
Raziel: we draw closer to the new messiah!  
  
Vorador: Hope he better than the old one  
  
Janos: Yeah, that idiot needed a 58 miles of mural before he could figure anything out  
  
Raziel: *sniff* that's just so low....... I mean no one ever tried to help me! I don't recall anyone giving me gifts of ...  
  
(Stage goes dark)  
  
Janos: *stage flashes * Gold!  
  
Vorador: *stage flashes * Frankie Goes to Hollywood T-shirt!!  
  
Raziel: *stage flashes *Rock!!!..... hold on a second! Frankie Goes to Hollywood T-shirt?!  
  
Vorador: Well frankincense isn't that great is it? I mean it smells nice and all but it's hardly 100% cotton now is it?  
  
Raziel: I suppose..... but it's no ROCK!! I can tell you....  
  
Janos: ..... I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots....  
  
(The wisemen walk off stage and it fades to black )  
  
(The stage lights up again to show Kain and Umah sitting in a car)  
  
Umah: Oh this long and tiresome trip to Jerusalem is a draining trip.... Mind the pedestrian dear  
  
Kain: he's on the footpath.....  
  
Umah: yes but he might leap out infront of us  
  
Kain: right...... you did call ahead and book the hotel right?  
  
Umah: no, why on earth would I do that?  
  
Kain: look, I don't want to be stuck in a barn for the night or something okay?  
  
Umah: yeah like that would ever happen....  
  
(There is a tense silence)  
  
Umah: I'm guessing from the silence you too have noticed the Sarafan regiment watching us  
  
Kain: indeed  
  
Umah: do you think they saw us?  
  
Kain: I think it's safe to assume they did. Now if you would be so kind as to but on your seatbelt there ,honey  
  
Umah: why certainly  
  
(The car starts and speeds off stage. There is a loud crash and several bricks fall back onto the stage. The stage fades to black and backstage we see a rather shocked Popeland)  
  
Popeland: okay..... who's idea was it to give them a REAL CAR?!!..... No, scratch that, who's idea was it TO GIVE THEM A CAR IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!?!!  
  
Bane: ah yes, I'm very proud of that little scene  
You see the car is a reflection of the inner turmoil in Joseph heart  
  
Popeland: *Now missing quite a few marbles* Bane? Could you come here a minute and bring that flame thrower with you?  
  
Bane: Okay..... here you go...... hey what are you doing?!! Arghh!!!  
  
(Popeland sets bane on fire)  
  
Popeland: NYHAHHAHAHA!! Now I'm going out for a while, I need time to drink! I'm leaving you in charge Anarcrothe!!  
  
(Popeland storms out)  
  
Anarcrothe: All right!....... now Faustus, do you think you could rig up some sort of giant spaceship for the manger scene?   
  
  
Anarcrothe: Just wait for the next chapter to see my full creative genius!!  
It'll probably be written quicker than this one was...... I hope  
  
Review!! 


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